Home Spa Lady Tips # 53 How to Comfort a Loved One Who is Dying

Home Spa Lady's
Tips of the Week
Issue # 53 - November 29, 2006
Publisher: Marilee Tolen RN
E-mail Marilee
http://www.HomeSpaLady.com
http://www.HomeSpaLady.com/blog (Blog)
Home Spa Lady(TM)
Circulation: 1025
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Make Every Day A Spa Day!
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Please forward this e-newsletter to anyone you know who is interested in natural health, wellness, healing, and beauty based on principles of energy, consciousness, spirituality, personal empowerment, delicious whole foods, cleansing and detoxification of the body and mind, and having a heck of a good time!
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In This Issue
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1 How To Comfort A Loved One Who Is Dying
2. From Heartbreak to Happiness
3. Complementary Therapies in End of Life Care
4. Essential Oil Tip: Frankincense for Transition
5. Success Tip: Thornton Wilder
6. Recipe of the Week: Healthy Comfort Food
7. HSL's Joke or Cute Quote of the Week

*Take a class with Home Spa Lady in New York City this Sunday!
See below ~
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1. How To Comfort A Loved One Who Is Dying
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One of the most difficult things in life is experiencing the loss of a loved one. Worse than that is feeling the powerlessness of not knowing what to do to help make the loved one's transition more comfortable.

Here are 7 of the "17 ways to Comfort A Loved One Who is Sick or Dying", a Free Special Report offered on my website http://peacefulpassages.org

--Clear and straighten the environment A cluttered environment creates obstacles for movement and can bean unknown source of stress. Have bedsides and surrounding area clear from unnecessary clutter.
--Control the room temperature. Most people who are sick or dying have altered body temperatures. Do your best to get a clear indication as to whether they are hot or cold and adjust the room temperature and bedding to regulate them.
--Wipe face and eyes with warm, moistened, soft washcloth. This can feel so wonderful to the person who is bedridden. Offer it more than once or twice a day.
--Lightly spray or diffuse essential oils in the environment. Essential Oils such as lavender and citrus can have a calming and peaceful effect. Mix a few drops with distilled water in a spray bottle to spray in the air, or diffuse with a cold air diffuser made specifically for aromatherapy use. Be certain not to use perfume or perfume grade oils. Use only therapeutic grade essential oils. To create a more spiritual environment, use oils from ancient scripture such as Frankincense.
--Hold or rub their feet. Feet provide access to the entire body through reflex points. Whether you offer a gentle foot massage or just hold their feet - both offer comfort.
--Clear their energy field. A simple measure of using your hands to clear and balance theenergy field of the person who is sick or dying is frequently able to take someone from a level of discomfort to comfort. Place both of your hands approximately 3 inches off their body and move your hands in short sweeping motions downward. Start at the head and move toward the feet.
--Gently brush their brow with a light touch. Touching someone's forehead can offer great comfort to them. People often touch their own foreheads when they feel distressed or unwell. Using a gentle touch to the forehead of someone who is sick or dying is a natural thing to do. Placing your hand and keeping it there, or lightly brushing their brow can offercomfort.

To learn the other 10 ways go to http://www.peacefulpassages.org and download the Free Special Report.
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2. From Heartbreak to Happiness
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True Wealth
by: Aurora Winter

Most of us are focused on making more money. If we had abit more money -- or a lot more -- then things would really be good! Then we'd do all those things we've been wanting to do. But first, we really have to slay the financial dragon. So we put off taking that family vacation, put off starting our screen play, put off having that child. We think that there will be plenty of time for those things next year.

I know -- I was living this way myself, delaying family holidays, delaying having a second child, intent upon achieving financial freedom. Then one day I suddenly achieved financial freedom. And I never felt so impoverished in my entire life. My financial freedom came in the form of a check from a life insurance company. My beloved - my 33-year-old husband --had died. His sudden death turned my whole world upside down. He was my best friend. He was my business partner. And he was the father of our 4-year-old son.

We would never again take a family holiday together. The financial goals I had been pursuing were suddenly worthless. One more family holiday would have been priceless. I realized that my world had been upside-down before he died. And it was only now that it was right-way up. It was only now that I saw clearly what really mattered. It was only now that I understood what wealth was. I realized that true wealth has nothing to do with the balance in your bank account, your stock portfolio, or your real estate holdings.

True wealth is rooted in four things:
--LOVE
The people in our lives are our biggest treasure. Giving and receiving love is life's sweetest blessing. And it is free. All it takes is a little time and attention. Yet so often we forget to tell those that are near and dear to us that we love them. So often they bear the brunt of our moods - while we give our best to perfect strangers. Don't make this mistake. Tell everyone that you love how much you love and appreciate them. Tell your wife, your husband, your lover, your brother, your mother, your child. Do it right now. You may not get another chance tomorrow. And if you do get another chance tomorrow, tell them all over again. You can never give someone too much love or too much appreciation.
--GRATITUDE
Gratitude is the key to bringing the awareness of prosperity into your consciousness right now. What do you need right now, in this very moment? Take a deep breath and consider your answer. Anyone who is reading this article can truthfully answer tha tright now -- in this very moment -- all needs are met. As Rev. Michael Beckwith says, when you realize that all your needs are met, you create an energy field of all needs being met. And so the Universe delivers to you more and more experiences of all your needs being met. After my husband died, there were many times when I felt empty and grief-stricken. Yet, when I focused on how grateful I was for our son and for the time we shared, I would feel full and blessed. The more things I expressed gratitude for, the more things I discovered to be grateful for. Whatever you focus on, expands. I begin every day with a prayer of gratitude. I highly recommend it. It will change your life.
--HEALTH
King, a friend of mine who was HIV positive, once told me, 'If it can be solved with money, it's not a problem.' He died -- but his words live on. I find this thought powerful and profound. It keeps things in proper perspective. If it can be solved with money, it may be a challenge, it may be an opportunity for growth -- but it's not a problem. Our health is one of our biggest treasures -- yet how many people take it for granted? How many people are too busy to exercise? How many people don't make the time to eat healthy, balanced meals? How many people are too busy to pray and meditate, even though it effectively makes you 10 years younger? If your heart stops ticking, your schedule will be completely cleared. Don't wait for a heart attack -- cherish your body like the temple that it is. It houses a Divine being --you. Exercise, eat right, drink plenty of water, and release stress through meditation and other rejuvenating and healing activities. Your health is your wealth.
--PEACE
The greatest treasure of all is peace of mind. With peace of mind, you can remain calm and connected no matter what challenges life brings to you -- even the death of a loved one, or a devastating blow to your health. Peace of mind brings clarity and the freedom to take appropriate action in every situation. Peace of mind happens when the biggest dream-stealer of all --unresolved loss -- is faced and released. The unresolved loss could be death, divorce, a broken dream, or another loss. My experience is that once the grief is released, love, health, and gratitude rush in. With the right coaching, peace of mindfollows. And that is true wealth.-

Aurora Winter is a speaker, Certified Grief Recovery Counselor, healing spa retreat leader, and the author of: 'From Heartbreak to Happiness: An Intimate Diary of Healing'

For Aurora's upcoming events, to purchase a copy of Aurora's hardcover book, or to sign up to receive one for free via email, please visit: From Heartbreak To Happiness.com
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3. Complementary Therapies in End of Life Care
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My Dad died five years ago this past Sunday. Although he struggled with emphysema for years, he died peacefully and comfortably at home surrounded by our loving family. Having been an Intensive Care Nurse for years, my greatest prayer was answered. Dad didn't end up on a ventilator dying an uncomfortable death in the hospital.

But it didn't just happen by chance. Myself and my family practice what are called "complementary therapies". Complementary therapies are natural non-invasive, non-medical measures like massage, Healing Touch and other energy therapies, music, and the therapeutic use of essential oils. In conjunction with his medical treatment and hospice care, we provided Dad with these therapies at home. Dad often said these were some of his favorite ways to feel better. The night before my father died he said to me "Marilee, this is wonderful. This is how dying should be. I want you to tell the world about it".

Two months after the funeral I created Peaceful Passages(TM). Within 8 months I held the first professional health care symposium of its kind was held with experts from all over the country offering information on these therapies. The proceeds from this event became the seed money for the M.J. Tolen Scholarship Fund to help advance the awareness of Complementary Therapies in End of Life Care. Samaritan Hospice, a non-profit hospice, in Marlton, New Jersey has become the home for this fund. They were the hospice that provided excellent care to my father.

Coincidentally, the day I presented the check to them to start this fund, my mother was placed on their service as her life was winding down from kidney cancer. We experienced the same opportunity with Mom. We were able to continue to practice our natural comfort and care therapies at home in conjunction with hospice care. She too had a peaceful passing at home surrounded by the family.

This confirmed for me that we can play a part in creating conditions for someone to have a peaceful death. Peaceful Passages (TM) has become my heart project and I believe the M. J. Tolen Scholarship Fund is one of the best ways to fulfill my father's request in "telling the world about this". This fund can help pay for education in complementary therapies. The recipients must use what they are learning in their classes end of life care.

So far the fund has paid for people to take classes in Foot Reflexology, Healing Touch, Spiritual Healing, and the use of Essential Oils. To learn more about Peaceful Passages and the M. J. Tolen Scholarship Fund, go to Peaceful Passages.org. To help advance the awareness of Complementary Therapies in End of Life Care, please make a tax deductible donation to the fund by going to http://tinyurl.com/yx6r9t. You can make your donation here online. Please make sure that you use the drop down box to note that the program you are supporting is the Tolen Fund.
Thank you.
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4. Essential Oil Tip: Frankincense for Transition
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The Essential Oils of Ancient Scripture are very powerful to use when someone is going through the stages of death and dying. Frankincense was used over 5000 years ago as "holy incense toascend and perfume the heavens". A large vat of Frankincense essential oil was found in King Tut's tomb. The Egyptians had a great reverence for this oil, more valuable than gold.

How to use frankincense for transition:

--Diffuse frankincense to create a spiritual environment
--Anoint the forehead, combine with prayer (for more info onanointing with essential oils go to: http://www.ishahealing.com )
--Apply to bottom of feet. It is imperative that a high quality therapeutic grade oil be used in end of life care. Lesser grade oils that are perfume grade have chemicals, fillers, and fixatives that will not create the same effects.

The Young Living Frankincense oil is one of the highest qualities available anywhere. Order your oils from your Young Living distributor or by going to Young Living's Website
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5. Success Tip: Thornton Wilder
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"My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it is on your plate."- Thornton Wilder
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7.Recipe of the Week: Healthy Comfort Food
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BROWN RICE PUDDING
1 c. cooked brown rice
2 egg whites
2 c. rice or nut milk
1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
1/2 c. raisins
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
--In blender, mix milk, vanilla, egg whites, and cinnamon.
--Spray 8 x 10 inch glass baking dish with non-stick spray.
--In a separate bowl, mix together brown rice, raisins, and the blender mixture.
--Pour entire recipe into the baking dish and sprinkle with additional cinnamon
--Bake at 350 degrees for 35 to 40 minutes.
--Serve warm or cold
--Optional: Drizzle with Agave
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7. HSL's Joke or Cute Quote of the Week
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On a gloomy, rainy morning, it came little eight-year-old Tommy's turn to say the blessing at breakfast. "We thank Thee for this beautiful day," he prayed. His mother asked him why he said that when the day was anything but beautiful. "Mother," said he, with rare wisdom, "never judge a day by its weather. "
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Where to Meet, Hear, or Learn with Home Spa Lady:
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December 3, 2006 New York City
How To Use Essential Oils
Learn More and Register!
Contact Marilee with questions 856-857-1799
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March 24-26, 2007
Galloway, New Jersey
Healing Touch Level 3
Contact Marilee for details 856-857-1799
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Past Issues of Home Spa Lady's Tips of the Week
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Marilee Tolen RN a.k.a. Home Spa Lady
E-mail Marilee!
Phone: 856-857-1799 (East Coast)
www.HomeSpaLady.com
www.PeacefulPassages.org